soundsdelicious

Historically Sound.

In Uncategorized on May 21, 2008 at 11:28 pm

Hmpf. The one thing I will never love about History is the “responsibility” of historians writing history. Solving cultural problems and sticking their noses into everyday life.. trying to relate with “normal” person by relating the diets of the early American Colonists. There are conspiracies going on right under our noses. Not to sound paranoid, but apparently history is something trickled into society instead of allowing people to know when it happens. Apparently American’s can’t handle a lot of information at one time.

Where’d we go wrong?

I hate that question. History professors stop asking your students to think of revolutionary ideas that would save millions of people and change over a billion people’s lives. There’s no time machine, no Delorean to take us back in time to make the decisions they write down in their mid-term essays. You want us to create revolutionary ideas, but we’re teenagers, early-twenties punks who are still in our teething years of life. If I could change the world with my words, then I would, but I can’t and I don’t. I’m a little, immature girl from Southern New Jersey, not a revolution. I want to bake cupcakes and play with children all day not take up homemade poster board signs to the streets of New York City during rush hour to belt out message.

It’s not important to me. Does that make me a bad History student?

Probably.

My surgery is done and with few complications, so my life goes on. That sentence sounds a bit morbid. It’s just the pieces I’m still picking up are a little tricky and sometimes frustrating. Not because the pieces of the puzzle are tricky, but because I’m tricky. My heart and mind want to see the entire picture in it’s entirety. When we finally see it though, isn’t that just death? Or at least resigning to the idea that life isn’t worth living. So if I stop building, if I stop putting the pieces in the maybe.. wrong spot for now or forever, then I resign to the that fact. I stop living. That’s not something I’m willing to do anymore, not after finding my edges, and my one special, radiant piece.

I’m no closer to clarity then I was when I graduated college. My career is blurry, where I want to live is blurry, my education is blurry, but when do you ever get “true” clarity?

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