Meet me in hell. I’ll be the one wearing pasties & a pair of assless chaps..

In Uncategorized on February 16, 2008 at 8:39 pm

I’m going to hell.

It’s a given. Today though, I sealed the deal.

This morning I went to Starbucks after my seven minutes in heaven with my lover Target and got a Tall Vanilla Latte, skim milk, sugar free syrup. It’s not bad enough Starbucks is putting a strain on my wallet with their four dollar plus drinks, they feel the need to strain the very moral fibers that make me.. well, me. This, I didn’t respond to very well.

Every 20 minutes – less time than it will take to drink your coffee-
another child is diagnosed with autism. It’s much more common
than people think, with one out of every 150 children diagnosed.

“So I should invest in Adderall stock?”
Yeah, straight to hell, I get it.

It gets me that these big corporations, Starbucks especially, can try to force guilt on me. Autism is a horrible disease plain & simple. When I substituted I did most of my work in the Special Needs classrooms, so I got to watch it with my own eyes. Most of the parents don’t know how to care for a disease like Autism, not many doctors do either. It’s an enigma in the medical world. So it’s easy to see the fear, the pain, the stress, the sheer exhaustion in the parents eyes from having to care for a child with such a disease. That should change someone’s life, not the side of a coffee cup.

If you’re going to care, do it for yourself, don’t be guilted into.. caring! It’s just like the Salvation Army bell ringers. Yea, we see them at Christmas and always feel the obligation to drop our change in the bucket, but what about the rest of the year? It’s easy to forget. The Salvation Army is an amazing organization that provides jobs for thousands upon thousands of mentally handicapped individuals. They give the best gift of all, a life. Not money, not free hand outs, not a pat on the head. It makes me think of the saying “If you give a man a fish, he can live for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he can live for a lifetime.” Or whatever..
It’s funny that I even paid attention to the side of my coffee cup, a coincidence really. Since I haven’t been working, I’ve been looking for a charity to get involved with. It seems like I’ve been saying this for years, but I do need to get back into volunteer work. Living in such a declining town you’d think there would be more organizations popping up, but there isn’t.

A few years back I went through the interview process of becoming a Big Sister, but my time constraints at the time kept me from being assigned. They tell you they don’t want you to become a “baby sitter” for these kids, but you’re supposed to come pick them up and take them somewhere at least three to four times a week. I understand being involved.. being a mentor, but.. that to me sounds like a baby sitter.

I’d love to be in a child’s life and make a difference. I’d like to believe I’ve made a difference in some kids lives already, but I only have a half a year to build with them, I want a child (that isn’t my own) who I can have a lot less boundaries. That I can take out to the beach or go watch their school plays. To take to local events, share a book with outside of school, to just sit & talk with.

A lot of times I don’t credit my mom with a lot of my development, but I know if I did need her, she was always there. She was always at my school functions, always ready with a hug or kiss, always willing to listen (even if she butts in her opinions a lot), and just.. there! So many kids I saw go through the CFC had absent parents. They were cared for physically, but not emotionally or even mentally. My mom always read to me or read with me and that’s become a huge part of my life to this day. The same thing with cooking. The people I cherish the most in my life don’t necessarily need to be “amazing” people, but they are amazing to me because they were always there willing to love me when I needed it.

Yadda, yadda. Wow, how did this get sentimental?

As far as charity work I considered doing the 3-day walk in Philadelphia as a sponsor or a hand at the event. The runners have to raise over $1k before they can run. I’m no good at asking people for donations, see above. I’ve thought of the Bayshore Discovery Project, but I don’t know how much I’d like going out on the boat.

The biggest obstacle is my self-worth.. again! It’s just I don’t know if I’m strong enough or I have enough to offer to these people. Sure, I could just volunteer at The Bridge or the Salvation Army selling clothes, but I actually want to be one-on-one with people. Maybe I can find my strength by being strong for them. I’d love to get involved with the CC Sexual Assault Program, but we’ll see. The Gabriel Project? I don’t know.

I always say we’ll see, let’s hope I mean it.


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